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cybergeisha
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Gender: Female
Interests: radiohead . death cab for cutie . doves . ladytron . bauhaus . nin . velvet underground . skinny puppy . david bowie . pink floyd . the breeders. pixies . the smiths . joy division . sonic youth . the cure . bauhaus. new order . bjork . sigur ros . godspeed you black emperor! . smashing pumpkins . the police ... & other assortments of tekno, new-wave, industrial, 80s, electroclash, glamrock, alt & darkwave.
Expertise: graphic design + art + dreaming + music
Message: message me
Member Since:
2/22/2002
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| I HAD MY FIRST BABY!!!!!!!
well, sort of.
on sunday, i adopted a beautiful, tiny little black cat named Padmae. (already named by her previous owner. No starwars references or jokes, please.) she is very shy and hid for two days, but now, she has finally emerged from hiding and is exploring my room. | | |
| graduation tomorrow. woot. | | |
| Nine Inch Nails. Thursday night. at the warfield
i have waited 11 years for this show. thats a fucking long time.
who gives a shit if i had to pay a 400% inflation for the scalped ticket.
trent's 39, but he still looks pretty good. now all i need is a diagram of the
warfield...lets see what its like to be a stupid groupie!  | | |
| spent another day with him....so unexpected.
this sums it up.
Delerium - Just A Dream
Walking barefoot on the shore
Hypnotized by the ocean roaring
Thoughts of you drifting in and out
Never fails to calm me down
I still see your eyes when light hits the water
And I've never seen a color so beautiful
So blue... Ocean blue
I keep moving to the distant sounds
And visions of you drifting in and out
Clouds mixing with the sand and the sea
Sounds get carried on the ocean breeze
I still hear your voice from across the horizon
And wasn't that you walking into the shadows?
In time I'll believe it was just and illusion
In time I'll believe it was only a dream
I still see your eyes when light hits the water
And I've never seen a color so beautiful
I still hear your voice from across the horizon
And wasn't that you walking into the shadows?
In time I'll believe it was just and illusion
In time I'll believe it was only a dream
Till then I will breathe you in from the ocean
And walk with the waves rolling under my feet | | |
| i pause for a brief moment to reflect.
there have been so many things going on in my life right now--happy, sad, surprising, sensual, complex--things that i ironically cannot talk about in this journal because so many of my readers know me, and that would be revealing too much information for my comfort level. i am a private person in general: i love to reflect and contemplate in absolute silence, to internalize thoughts alone. at the same time, writing serves as a method to analyze and organize thoughts, but ultimately, a way to reach out to other people. words are an extension of the soul, and to write is to confess with absolute candor, to expose the heart. it frustrates me that i cannot speak candidly in this online forum, when a journal's purpose should serve as an empty canvas for confession. instead i come to realize two things: that (most) journals are no longer spontaneous, but rather contrived and pre-meditated with the intension of entertaining an audience, and (two) that i write for the intention of only a few select people.
what is comes down to is the fact that the accessibility of my journal devalues my words. that is why i leave this space for random song lyrics and cryptic messages*
* (see next paragraph).
as for my life at the moment, this is definitely a major transitional point. i havent had one of these in a while. new friendships are being defined, and established relationships redefined or recomfirmed. its been frightening and comforting at times, but overall everything has been for the best. and i thank those who have remained true till the end.
the transition from one life to another is turbulent and unsettling, being uprooted from 18 years of home to a foreign place is a shock, but i am confronting it the best way possible. emotions have been at highs and lows. i find myself these days lost blissfully in a blur of stimulus--the neon lights of nightclubs, long nights, trails of smoke, warm kisses, large amounts of work, cold rain, laughter, accusing confrontations, and long conversations. time has passed and i do not remember when it began and where i am now.
i live in moments of fear and joy, euphoria and absolute exhaustion. i love seeing the world in this new perspective. but at the same time, i hope it plateaus to a comfortable level...where i can sleep peacefully without the desire to restlessly roam the long nights. | | |
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